Monday, May 26, 2014

hmmmmm France?

So a lot of y'all know I am going to pick Kayla up a week from today in Atlanta and she will be here till October. Starting in October she will be living in the region of Amien in France, where she will be teaching English to French kids. I was planning to go visit her for Christmas through New Years but something came up this weekend, my mom started asking questions...

While sitting on the beach Saturday she asked why I wasn't going to France with her. I was like: "I am going to finish school durrr..." thinking that is was a trick question. I was wrong she was serious. She said school can wait. I died laughing and said "bull shit! You wouldn't let me do that." To my surprise she was serious. First thing that came to my head was not even sure Kayla would want me to (though we had joked around about it before), then followed by what would her mom think about that. Thankfully Kayla actually wanted me to go haha and her mom thought it was a great idea too. Am I dreaming? School can wait? Live in France? I have been completely mind blown by this sudden idea that was met with approval from everyone that I felt like had a say in the whole situation. The idea of living in Europe in general and in a place that I don't know the native language at all is scary but very exciting sounding the more and more I think about it.

The timing seems kind of right with school since I have received a four year degree though I still need 1 more year for what I really need. But hey my mom said it could wait. At the same time it would be a break from school and give me sometime to think about what I really want to use my degree and life in general after a rough couple semesters. So why not? I mean there are lots of reasons why not to go but I just don't know when I would ever have this kind of chance to actually live in Europe and currently don't have anything keeping me from doing it.

So what could I do in France? Well obviously the idea of riding in northern France and Belgium has been dream of mine but having those roads available everyday just makes me giddy and hyper. I obviously would have to find some form of a job for some income but even that challenge has me excited. Job and income just means funding for all my travels around Europe.

There are tons of hoops that I would have to jump through to make it work but it is definitely something that I am going to try and make happen! I will keep everyone updated on what comes of all of this and if I can make it work.

Friday, April 25, 2014


I am starting this at 2:31am the day after my final was due. I think I have 6 hours asleep in the the 2 days and 10 in the last three. The computer monitor has been making me dizzy, upset stomach, blurry vision, or all of the above at the same time. There is also the possibility that I have been actually sick though.

Your probably thinking I have been drinking since turning in my final, but you wrong I worked on my final some more. Is it commitment? pride? afraid off embarrassment? Living up to expectations. I don't know probably a little of both.

It seems like the last 5-8 months have been a rocky road emotionally, mentally and physically. Yeah I keep telling people school is good. Ehh to be honest it hasn't been that good. The grades aren't bad but the product coming out of those classes has been lacking. My teachers, dean, and parents are both like the "wtf man." I am like "wtf idk." It is a degree that you really have to be all in for. Not good with the girl friend and not good for the riding. It is such an emotional progress with a product that will have a fine tooth comb ran through and then they might love it or literally rip it up. You have to take pride, care, and time to make sure you get everything in the program all while making it appealing to everyone. It taxing for sure and sometimes you get something good out of it and other times you want to jump off a cliff instead of starting all over. So I will hopefully receiving a diploma in Science of Architecture next week but the question of commitment really begins after that. Do I really want to be an Architect? If so 1 to more years of school. Going to have to talk with my parents about it. Starting to have doubts about it and currently lacking the commitment or drive to do it right.

I have been thinking about it constantly and haven't really told anyone. I am actually a person that tends to be pretty silent outside being with the crew and close friends. The people at work must think I am really weird. Bikes on my computer screens, 5 empty mtn dew cans (moved on to diet dew by the way! Shocking I know)and white kid listening to rap. I hold a lot in as shocking as it sounds for most of you, but I am kind of shy. I got ideas and think A LOT! Way more than people think and it isn't a good trait. I tend to be scared to let them out or commit to things. Not speaking has usually resulted in more bad than good as of recently.

So the goal is to speak up more, take action, and actually put to use what is in my head.

This might result in more blog post, but that might actually require commitment.