hmmmmm France?

So a lot of y'all know I am going to pick Kayla up a week from today in Atlanta and she will be here till October. Starting in October she will be living in the region of Amien in France, where she will be teaching English to French kids. I was planning to go visit her for Christmas through New Years but something came up this weekend, my mom started asking questions...

While sitting on the beach Saturday she asked why I wasn't going to France with her. I was like: "I am going to finish school durrr..." thinking that is was a trick question. I was wrong she was serious. She said school can wait. I died laughing and said "bull shit! You wouldn't let me do that." To my surprise she was serious. First thing that came to my head was not even sure Kayla would want me to (though we had joked around about it before), then followed by what would her mom think about that. Thankfully Kayla actually wanted me to go haha and her mom thought it was a great idea too. Am I dreaming? School can wait? Live in France? I have been completely mind blown by this sudden idea that was met with approval from everyone that I felt like had a say in the whole situation. The idea of living in Europe in general and in a place that I don't know the native language at all is scary but very exciting sounding the more and more I think about it.

The timing seems kind of right with school since I have received a four year degree though I still need 1 more year for what I really need. But hey my mom said it could wait. At the same time it would be a break from school and give me sometime to think about what I really want to use my degree and life in general after a rough couple semesters. So why not? I mean there are lots of reasons why not to go but I just don't know when I would ever have this kind of chance to actually live in Europe and currently don't have anything keeping me from doing it.

So what could I do in France? Well obviously the idea of riding in northern France and Belgium has been dream of mine but having those roads available everyday just makes me giddy and hyper. I obviously would have to find some form of a job for some income but even that challenge has me excited. Job and income just means funding for all my travels around Europe.

There are tons of hoops that I would have to jump through to make it work but it is definitely something that I am going to try and make happen! I will keep everyone updated on what comes of all of this and if I can make it work.

Commitment

I am starting this at 2:31am the day after my final was due. I think I have 6 hours asleep in the the 2 days and 10 in the last three. The computer monitor has been making me dizzy, upset stomach, blurry vision, or all of the above at the same time. There is also the possibility that I have been actually sick though.

Your probably thinking I have been drinking since turning in my final, but you wrong I worked on my final some more. Is it commitment? pride? afraid off embarrassment? Living up to expectations. I don't know probably a little of both.

It seems like the last 5-8 months have been a rocky road emotionally, mentally and physically. Yeah I keep telling people school is good. Ehh to be honest it hasn't been that good. The grades aren't bad but the product coming out of those classes has been lacking. My teachers, dean, and parents are both like the "wtf man." I am like "wtf idk." It is a degree that you really have to be all in for. Not good with the girl friend and not good for the riding. It is such an emotional progress with a product that will have a fine tooth comb ran through and then they might love it or literally rip it up. You have to take pride, care, and time to make sure you get everything in the program all while making it appealing to everyone. It taxing for sure and sometimes you get something good out of it and other times you want to jump off a cliff instead of starting all over. So I will hopefully receiving a diploma in Science of Architecture next week but the question of commitment really begins after that. Do I really want to be an Architect? If so 1 to more years of school. Going to have to talk with my parents about it. Starting to have doubts about it and currently lacking the commitment or drive to do it right.

I have been thinking about it constantly and haven't really told anyone. I am actually a person that tends to be pretty silent outside being with the crew and close friends. The people at work must think I am really weird. Bikes on my computer screens, 5 empty mtn dew cans (moved on to diet dew by the way! Shocking I know)and white kid listening to rap. I hold a lot in as shocking as it sounds for most of you, but I am kind of shy. I got ideas and think A LOT! Way more than people think and it isn't a good trait. I tend to be scared to let them out or commit to things. Not speaking has usually resulted in more bad than good as of recently.

So the goal is to speak up more, take action, and actually put to use what is in my head.

This might result in more blog post, but that might actually require commitment.

Trying to get rid of some things....

Some of you know that I am trying to get a new frame, but I must get rid of some things before that to happens. Here is what I got laying around in the garage and is up for grabs.

Pivot Mach 4 Med black
Lemond Poprad frame, fork and headset 57cm white and red
Fox RLC Fit 100mm tapered front fork with 15mm through axle for 26" wheels
175mm Race Face Crank Polished crank arms and rings
Thompson seat post 30.9
2 sets of XTR v-brakes
set of chris kings mtb hubs for rim brakes. Black
Set of Bontrager rxl mtb hubs. Centerlock
2 XO direct mount front derailleurs
1 kyserium sl front wheel
ec90 27.2 road seatpost
Ritchey Road Crankset
2 8 speed xtr rear derailleurs
1 9 speed XO rear derailleurs

If anyone is interested in anything message me and I will get in contact with you.

Change

With Kayla gone, school, work and no real me time for myself, I have been doing a lot more thinking about how stuff has changed in the last 3-4 years.

Three to Four years ago was maybe the peak of the BC days. We couldn't go a day with out someone picking on someone on bikeposssee. It would lead to a chain of emails and heated group rides that were epic. The rides consisted of more than four people and we all were racing a fair amount. Those were the days of no Norman or Danielle, "big" Jim, Mark had no children, Steve and Cliff weren't married, and the crew was tighter than it ever was. Now I can't say the same thing. We have become that crew that just has jerseys but still stirs shit up occasionally. Is it any ones fault? no but man stuff is different and it is weird. We don't even share our ride plans on the email anymore and I wouldn't consider some people BC anymore as sad as that sounds. I realize nothing stays the same and as a whole we have all kind of matured. Sounds weird saying that BC has matured, we are talking about 35+ year old people except for me and David. Some days I just wish we it was like old times but at the same time I am just as guilty of changing and being inconsistent as well.

Three to Four years ago I was just starting Architecture school at FAMU and had just met Kayla. I was a half ass student that did very little work, little loud, fit, cocky, and did nothing but think about riding. Today my life is consumed with architecture school work that has priority over everything. I am not thinking about my next ride or the next big purchase, I am not fit, not near as raw with my blogs and friends my age are starting to get married. There is one thing has stayed the same and that is that Kayla I are still together and I couldn't be happier that were are. As a whole I am starting to think more about the future and not living day to day. For example I have never saved or worked harder to get money for something other than bike stuff till Kayla was awarded an internship in NYC. I could probably tell you 50 different options that I could use the money to improve on my bike but all I really want to do is go to NYC, see Kayla, and experience something new.

With all of these changes the comfort zone/ hard headedness has kind of gone out the window. My rides are different and the people they are with are different, other than a few. My thoughts of where I will live or what I will do in a year or so are completely different than what I thought they would be. I always thought that I would live in Tallahassee and grow old here. Now I am almost sure that I won't be and could live somewhere new as early as the end of next springs school semester. The more I think about it the more I come to be ok with it and I get a little excited.

So what now? More homework unfortunately and more change it sounds like. That is ok though, I got to get over it and keep on moving. I will try to post more and I am guessing my content will start being a little different. I am sure the main focus will be cycling with an occasional rant, but more life lessons it sounds like.

cyclocross fail!

Reflection on this Last Weekends Race

I have said I was going to make a come back for years now but I have been sporadic cause of school and just plain growing up. I finally feel like I can say that I finally made it back and on the way to where I want to be. I don't know if it is that I grew up, got smarter, got my priorities together, or if I am just re-energized. It is probably a combination of everything and it finally came together this last weekend.

The race weekend couldn't have been any better really. I had an awesome, fun and muddy pre ride with Carl. It was a pleasant surprise to get text from and get to ride with him since he doesn't live here anymore. I just wish I could have taken a picture of Carl in my riding clothes and on my bike. That way I could have used it as black mail. The rest of that day was filled with cleaning mud off the bike, watching football and eating my normal spaghetti dinner before a race. Race morning seemed to come quick and I had so many questions/nerves floating around my head. All I wanted was the race to start, the thoughts in my head to go away and see what all the riding recently would result in.

The gun went off and all 14 SS racers went spinning off like idiots. To my surprise the course was practically dry. The roots weren't wet amazingly even though we recieved over 2 inches of rain the day before. Knowing that roots were dry allowed me to relax  and focus on being calm and riding like I knew I could. First lap was spent with Berg and Jimmy Toural. The pace was set by Berg and was very steady. I felt good but was waiting for that first attack. That first attack came from Jimmy Toural after Berg pulled out of the lead. Jimmy picked the pace up just before entering Lob Lolly and spreading the now four of us out. I jumped on to his wheel and followed him into the single track. I take a alternate route and took the lead. I had a minor gap so I punched it all the way to the water fountain. By then it was just Jimmy and myself. I would continue to keep the pace high and lead going into the 3rd and final lap. All I am thinking is how nice it would be to finally win the damn SS race at tom brown but at the same time thinking I don't want to be the bridesmaid again. Coming into the flat part by Kudzilla I bobbled a little after trying to separate myself from Jimmy. Of course Jimmy took advantage of my mistake and slipped in front of me. He got a 10 second lead and I never could make it up. We were stayed exacly the same distance all the way to the finish.

Though I ended up 2nd again I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I had felt good, had real good lap times and felt like I could have done another lap. I am excited to ride and I can't wait to race again. School is still the priority but will be making time for riding as well. I got some other races in mind before it gets cold. I am thinking I might go to  Haile's trails, Felasco, and Santos for some more state races and might give expert a shot if I can keep my riding consistent and put the time in that is necessary. I am also considering doing the state road race in Orlando. Course sounds like it would be good for me since its rolling and more of a survival style race and not one for sitting around and waiting for a sprint. I am for sure doing spaghetti off road and at least the local cx race but thinking I might do some more cx races. I have some long term goals too, but I am going to keep focusing on the next couple races and try to keep the good form up and mix it up with a mixture of races and rides.

Remember when...

Remember when we rode on the job site in Macon? Well this video reminded me of that epic moment in BC history but this dude has mad skill!

Can we exhale now and move on? If so thank Lance...

Tonight I want to rant but I don't have the rage or satisfaction that I was expecting. Either way, tonight ends the doping era with Lance turning down arbitration and Lance receiving charges. For years I have been aggravated with the constant negativeness that Lance's legacy left hanging around. There are a few things that really stand out to me and want people to realize.

1) How do you take titles from someone if almost everyone else at that time was doping as well? Its not like you can just give the title to someone else. Do we just say tha there aret no winner those years? Does that mean proven dopers like Basso who never won a tour, wins one even though he tested positive later on? and does Ullrich gets some back? On top of that conflict, Lance has long time been documented as the most tested athlete of all time. Yes he had some method of covering or masking dope that kept him from being caught, but what would have been discovered if all the other top athletes at that time were tested the same?

2) How do you give someone a lifetime ban? Yes Lance has other things he can do, but he is one of the most hard headed, competitive, and gifted athletes I have ever seen. Its kind of like taking his soul and stomping on it. How is what he has done any different than anyone else? Ok so supposedly there is one sample out there that said he tested positive and words from some of the most uncredible people to back it up. But what about Petacci, Basso, Ullrich, Valverde, Contador, and Vino? I know all their situations are different but they all have BS stories too. They all received two year bans and now all of them are being praised. Vino winning the Olympic road race was one of the most disappointing race I have ever watched! I spent 5 hours watching the coverage to watch a fucking cheater win. But he served his time and now doesn't have to live a life of misery. So whats the difference? Does it make it worse that Lance won more? I am just confused? Yes there are rumors of other stuff but none have been proved after EXTENSIVE investigations that have lasted 10+ years. He had something better than everyone else, get over it!

3) American's have historically been dopers. Did everyone forget about the allegations on Levi while he was a Gerostiner and recently been linked to it on Postal? What about Tom Danielson? He was mysteriously missing from Garmins races a year or so ago and there were rumors when he was on Fasso Bortlo.  We all know the stories of Floyd and Tyler. The most controversial one that I once was told was Greg Lemond. Not to name names but a well known pro that has seen everything told me that Greg Lemond was the one that brought it into the sport. I know people won't like hearing that but think about it. Why did he always think Lance was doping? Dopers know dopers.

So as you can tell I am not a big fan of Lance but just wanna know why the witch hunt and their reasoning for such punishment. At the same time, I hoping this allows the cycling community to move on and not have negative press. The weeks leading up to the tour and the weeks of the tour at times were over shadowed by this Lance case. It sometimes over shadowed the story of the brits dominating the tour. All at the same time it puts ideas that the best riders in the tour are doping. So I see this day a negative but good day for cycling. At the same time it makes me wonder what would have happened if Lance had just came out and said he doped cause he thought it was what he had to do to be competitive? Or just said he did it to raise money for cancer? Could he have been a David Miller? They use to be extremely close friends and even shared TT ideas and technology. Would it have killed Livestrong? Is that why he never admitted to it? We will never know as a result of Lance accepting charges. Was that planned? Does any one really care now after 10+ year? I am just left with more question! but hopefully this ends these man hunts and can allow cycling to lose the cloud that has been hanging over it.

Gnar Lube

Every cyclist loves seeing pretty women in the sport. Gnar lube took it to another level.

GNARLUBE Behind The Scenes Photo Shoot 2011 from GNARLUBE™ on Vimeo.

And if you forgot how to lube your chain here is how!

Ritchey P-275

I know I have mentioned this before and kind of sound like a broken record but I have a sweet spot for Ritchey frames. I don't know if it was envy of those who had them or the just the classic clean look of there frames, but they make me want to pull out my my wallet or beg for one!

This Ritchey P-275 is designed for 27.5" tires or known as 650b. No I haven't ridden a 650b yet but I am itching to bad! For my height and build I think it makes since. I have never really been totally comfortable on 29ers except my custom single speed. Life is rough lol. But hey you can't have to many bikes and I have always said my goal is to have a different bike for every day of the week. I know I need other stuff first but hey a P-275 frame retails for $1100 which is a screaming deal considering how much other shit cost today. I also forgot to mention that the frame is steel and oh that sexy retro paint scheme.

and while I am ranting about Ritchey check out there newer cross bike. Its amazingly beautiful and its steel too.

It will be a sad day when Tom Ritchey retires completely or passes away. I feel like he is one person in the industry that has stayed true to his roots. He still builds crazy pretty stuff, still passionate and rides, and hasn't sold out to some brand that just wants to use his name. Though I am sure its not what it use to be. He is one of those guys that I would love to ride with and listen to his stories.

I want this P-275 so bad that I alost didn't write this post cause I don't want people to know it exists. MORE FOR ME!

Cardboard bike the thing of the future?

Just Plain Evil

For those that don't know I am a car freak. I spend at least an hour a day reading car news and once a week listening to autoblogs podast. So I know I don't normally share car stuff on my blog but this creation really caught my attention. As a design student this is what gets my mind turning. The close attention to detail and unique styling is what gets me side tracked from what I am supposed to be doing. Guess I am not studying calculus tonight. ooops! Watch the video below to hear about the transformation from dump trunk to a diesel powered piece of art.

Must Watch GYMKHANA 5

10x42 Cassettes and 11 speed? WTF

It seems like cycling technology has really taken off drastically in the last couple months and it’s cool to watch but at the same time, this beautiful new stuff is becoming unobtainable to an everyday person. It bothers me to say that it’s getting to the point where I am not sure I will be able to have the nicest components. That sounds like bobbin brook syndrome, but think about it. Drivetrains and wheels are creeping up to $3000-4000, and it’s annoying, scary, and kind of sick. I bet in a year in a half or so the nicest big box brands road and mtn bikes will cost $15000. We have gone from joking about our bikes on the car being worth more than our car to just our xc bike being worth more than our car.

This increase in price of bike stuff makes me wonder what it will do to the sport. It isn't exactly a growing sport right this moment. With this increase in price I wonder if the sport will be full of nothing but lawyers and drug lords lol.

It just make me think back to the days where you could mix and match manufacturers components. You got what you wanted, could save some money by mixing parts, and it was nice not riding a flashy billboard. Don't get me wrong I like some of it but when it comes to replacing this new shit it makes you wonder if you will be able to afford taking your girl out or affording groceries.

but.....damn that 11x1 is purtty and looks smooth! Pretty cool little video.

I should be studying Calc but these are sick! I wanna go ride!

Skidmarx from Ibis Cycles on Vimeo.

peoplegrapher. In the Woods with Amir Kabbani from Lukas Tielke | peoplegrapher. on Vimeo.

Zballmtb's photostream

Zballmtb's photostream on Flickr.

Would you like to bump and grind on me?

Last weekend was the first expert/cat 1 mtb race that I have done in years. I have been riding a good amount, with a few bumps in the road but still with one goal to be competitive again.
As my first race back,  I chose Bump and Grind. I never thought that it was a dumb idea or thought maybe I should start with another one. No I thought the hardest xc mtb race in the southeast would be a good idea.
So the uh oh Oreo crew (kayla, tyrell, and I) left early Saturday and headed to Pelham, home of Oak Mtn State Park. After I arriving to beautiful weather, I find Berg and try to arrange a pre ride. As it turns out cat 1/ pro classes was a 1 lap 31 mile loop.  Instead of doing the traditional start that follows the lake, they have you do a 180 and go up the pavement to Jekyll and Hyde. What I didn't realize till the top of the climb was that it was the downhill course backwards. After asking Victor Alber like 3 times if we were really going to the right way they finally told me the whole loop. We were going the right way and I had to have looked like a deer in the head lights. I was in shock and thinking what have I gotten myself into. "I am not sure this was a good idea coming here to race,""I can't make it up this climb on a pre ride?" "wtf am I going to do tomorrow with a whole class of riders?" "I sound like Jim" "stop thinking"

Went up this!

So in a nut shell this is what the course route was. Up Jekyll and Hyde, then take a right immediately into blood rock followed by the traditional single track towards the finish. Instead of going to the finish line they had you turn left and do all the single track around the lack towards the single track that we use to start with. This was followed by the 3 mile climb then back down Jekyll and Hyde to the finish.

After learning the loop direction from Victor, I realize that if I wanted to pre ride everything it would be basically a 31 mile ride. Not happening! I end up riding just the new stuff in effort to stay as fresh as possible for the race. I split off from David who was doing the super D, which he apparently won and had the fastest time of anyone. I end up ride by myself with thoughts continuing to run through my head. "this is dumb and I am retarded!"

I get to the hotel call my dad who basically says don't be a pussy but in nice way and we talk strategy. I then complain to Jim and Worm. Worm thankfully calls and we chat and it made me relax and stop thinking about the race. Thanks big man.

The rest of the evening was spent at the summit shopping and eating with the uh oh oreo crew. It was nice having them a long for the trip, it took the mind off racing because they couldn't complain with me and worry about the trail. They were more worried about there food selection and choice of cheesecake at the cheesecake factory. This was my selection: Kahlua Cocoa Coffee Cheesecake! its amazing!

Race day came and it was beautiful day with no clouds and actually started off a little chilly. I scrambled around for an hour before the race with a flat tire, trying to eat and just trying to get everything ready. I was still able to get about a 15 min warm up but it felt like time was fast forward and I had butterflies.

I Roll up to the line and it is probably the most stacked expert class that I have ever rode in at bump and maybe anywhere. I just kept think ahhhh shit give me break! There were 5 different people that I heard of and knew that they had a chance of winning, but the creeper Andy Johnston was definitely the favorite.

Gun goes off and the butterflies can finally fly loose and leave my stomach. The new start was surprisingly smooth and not crazy. Everyone kinda knew where they were suppose to be going into the woods. I was right where I wanted to be sitting 6th (13 total in my class plus the 30-34 experts) going in to the woods. I quickly got into a rhythm that I hadn't been able to do the day before and felt pretty competitive. We hit the Hyde part of the trail with the uphill rock gardens and I clear almost every thing other than a few spots where I was wasn't given a chance to because of people in front of me making mistakes. I was feeling pretty damn happy and the confidence was starting to build because I could still see the tail end of the lead group as they were turning off of Jekyll and Hyde to blood rock. I kept thinking relax breathe catch you breath on blood rock and the part after it and find my own pace. Then I will worry about the people in front of me and behind me. The bad news is that never happened. After making it down blood rock, I made it around a few of the big downhill sweeping corners and was doing fine just letting the bike roll and leting it do its own thing. Well I guess I should have braked more. I hit one of the rock water bars awkwardly and came out of the main line and immediately knew it wasn't going to be good. I came down out of the main line and the rear tire went flat. I got to a stop as soon as I could and tried to stay as calm as possible and not freak out while changing the flat. Flat fix went really quick and seamlessly. So I am thinking ok the bad luck is out of the way now and its time to try and make up as many spots as possible now that I was sitting last. But I never get that chance as well. I made it another couple hundred yards down the same descent and the front tire goes flat. I already used my spare so I start walking the trail in hope that someone will give me a tube. One issue was that almost everyone had already gone by me as a result of expert doing a completely different loop. Only 3-4 riders come by me they are all on 29ers fuck! everyone offers a tube but can't use it. I know you can make it work in a 26 but I have never done it before and know it won't last long on a course this rough. So after that I walk another 1/4 mile, finally some recreational riders on $500 treks come by and I beg and plead and they give me a tube. He pulls it out and I see a patch right away and think there is no way this will last but thank them and proceed to fix the flat. The tube holds up and I continue on the long journey by myself. I see kayla and tyrell at the first neutral feed stop. I get a fresh bottle, a kiss on the cheek, and find out that I am 30-45 mins behind anyone. I do continue on and I pass two people not in my class. Other than that I see no one. I try to stay motivated and ride hard but its really hard to. All I am thinking is Jim's ugly ass face saying something about dnfing, Korecky jinxing me at zone 5, and how I am going to write this blog.

I end up have a smooth rest of my now training ride with no issues and come in about 50 mins behind the winner  the creeper. I surprisingly stayed calm and never really let the flat piss me off. I did dwelled on it but there wasn't really much I could have done. Shit happens and I have to move one. The bad news was I never really found out where my fitness was. I came into the race with questions and and left with more. Could I have kept that pace after the start and been competitive? I don't know? I don't think I could have touched the top 4 or five but I would have liked to have known how far off my fitness was.

All I know is that I will keep training and look forward to my next race, which is probably arrowhead.

I am usually calm but....

So I have been riding/racing on the mtb since 1996 and I would consider myself borderline old school. Being that I grew up in the sport when it was peaking or just after its peak in money/popularity (or could be called Pre Lance Craze), I feel like us mtbers from that era kinda have the grumpy old man syndrome now where they hate change and shit messed with when it doesn't really need to be messed with.

Its not bike technology that aggravates us. We can get over flimsy "toilet paper" carbon frames and all the different wheels sizes and trends. This isn't a problem cause all of the different styles have there place and who doesn't like buying new stuff and trying new ideas in an effort to being faster than your buddies.

What you don't screw with is our trails. "But it is to bumpy, slick, technical, fast and scary!" Then don't ride the damn trail. "No we should make them easier."" They are washed out and water just runs off." Whoopty fucking do is all I have to say to all that bull shit. I can remember growing up going to trails where people were scared of trails. Trails such as Hard Rock, Lakeland, Redick, and Gatorback would have people worrying/ dreading racing there. Though we still have Gatorback and few other old school trails, I feel like regulations and jackasses have control of our trails.

Yes trails do need reroutes and trail work after awhile but it doesn't need the jackasses.

Zak's Definition of Trail Jackass:

1. One who rides through trail on their own will/desire and crashes then find someone to sue.
2. One who finds that the trail they are riding to hard for them and goes back and "fixes" the problem.
3. One who thinks they know how to do trail work and doesn't know jack shit and makes it worse or more dangerous. 

Why am I just rambling about this now? Cause this morning I was on Secrete Singletrack riding towards Forest Meadows and crashed my brains out lol. I have been doing this directions recently and haven't really noticed anything other than some of the odd I can't climb a hill reroutes, till today. While going down the hill just before climbing out towards Meridian my pedal clipped a small skinny stump  going down the hill directing me into a tree. The handlebar and knee hit first followed by a chest and shoulder. While I was stumbling around trying to keep my knee loose and catch my breath since I knocked the wind out of me, I looked up and found the stump directly next to the edge of the trail and slightly covered with leaves. While I was trying to regroup and looking over my bike a recreational guy came by asking me if I was ok in wide eyes. I then watched him climb up the trails where I had fallen. It then hit me, that it use to be narrow little tree shoot before taking a right hander and going up again. Result of a Trail jackass? My guess is probably because the climb use to be pretty difficult. Either way it hurt and ended my ride which I was only like 20 mins into. Trail work that isn't done correctly can be dangerous and really hurt someone and its aggravating.

I usually try to keep my old man syndrome in but today I just had to vent.  And to be completely honest I erased a couple of paragraphs on our recent trail work trends of machines and clay use but I decided that might be a little much and would turn into a lot of cursing.

But on a positive note I am feeling good on the bike and its nice to know the speed is coming back. Being able to notice the speed coming back just adds to the motivation and desire to keep training.

Two Crazy Videos

If you haven't been keeping up with the Giro, its been filled with the usual early sprint stage crashes. But this one has stirred up a lot of controversy. Watch for the guy bunny hopping cavendish!

This is just funny. Must match till the end. Asian Bike Lock

Chiweeni?

With Cohutta 100 race coming our way this weekend, there is one thing on every bodies mind. Who is going to win the battle between the new Slightly Big Worm and The Ankle Biting Chiweeni Little D.

Slightly Big Worm use to be a big worm till earlier this year. It has got a lot of people wondering if maybe something was wrong. So I did some research and determined that his body has some kinda worm inside him. We aren't talking homosexual reference here. I am talking about an actual tape worm. Regional Doctor Dr.Darnel, whole specializes in cavity checks, recently spoke with me about this drastic drop in weight saying: "bigga please! that bitch has a worm deep inside him, no homo..." So what will come of him this weekend? Will the gel flask help or will lil willie the tape worm take all of his nutrients and leave him vulnerable to the little chiweeni?

Who is Lil'D and What is a Chiweenie? A Chiweenie is a cross between a Chiwawa and a weenier dog. Lil'D is a thugged out little smart ass that squeals like a pig. Don't let the high pitch voice and tiny appearance fool you. Down in Mexico with her other short people, she is known for her fierce sprint and surprising speed! The most recent victim Jim aka the Disappointment or the majestic jackass was out sprinted by her on the Chairs Ride. Little is known about this rare species of Bitch but if you hear a squeal coming your way you might wanna look over shoulder and make sure you aren't the next victim!

So as you can see this is an interesting battle. Ones slightly large and ones really short. Here are the characteristics side by side.

                              Slightly Big Worm                                     
Height:                  Over 6'                                               
Weight:                 Heavy                                                
Hair Color:            N/A                                                  
Facial Hair:           Patchy Stalker Style                             
Personality:           Bubbly                                              
Riding Style:         Like an Over Sized Doe                
Favorite Food:      Food? Where? Must Eat..                 

                              Lil'D
Height:                  "hello down there"
Weight:                 about 1/3 of Worm
Hair Color:           Blonde
Facial hair:           Hope There is None
Personality:          Bubble Blaster
Riding Style:        Kinda Like a Honey Badger
                              (not the most graceful but takes what she wants)
Favorite Food:     Mexican Food Durr Chiweenie

As you can tell from these stats, its going to be an interesting battle. We know the worm can eat more and we know Lil'D can squeak, but who will win the Cohutta 100.

Quotes on betting:
Terry: "I don't know worm is skinny!" "he must have a tape worm"
Norman: "giggle giggle stupid goat ropers"
Paul Lawrence: "(slow) giggle..."
Berg: "check out my new stereo I got another sub.."
Ron: "Put 20 buck on you (Chris), you are my horse..."
Steve: "I am to busy getting round"
Carl: "Demo today at 2pm"
Kent: "Friday night special: Bull riding in the parking lot. Proceeds go to me..."
Jim: "well...since Lil'D rapes me every wed in the sprint...I put $5 on Lil'D."
Daren: "check this pic from my customers car"
Rick: "I am doing a dirt ride, then soccer practice..."
Tim: "what ever nancy says"

As regular pain in the ass and normal hell raiser that is borderline appropriate, I predict a close battle that comes down to the line and the Chiweenie gets it by a floppy ear.

In all fairness I am super jealous and wish I was up there with y'all. I hate being out of shape and seeing everyone riding really well. I hope y'all have a safe ride and don't have any bad luck. And bring me back some dame apple turn overs.

Mouth watering!!!

Tomorrows blog on Cohutta will feature a story of a donkey blooming into a majestic stallion!