hmmmmm France?

So a lot of y'all know I am going to pick Kayla up a week from today in Atlanta and she will be here till October. Starting in October she will be living in the region of Amien in France, where she will be teaching English to French kids. I was planning to go visit her for Christmas through New Years but something came up this weekend, my mom started asking questions...

While sitting on the beach Saturday she asked why I wasn't going to France with her. I was like: "I am going to finish school durrr..." thinking that is was a trick question. I was wrong she was serious. She said school can wait. I died laughing and said "bull shit! You wouldn't let me do that." To my surprise she was serious. First thing that came to my head was not even sure Kayla would want me to (though we had joked around about it before), then followed by what would her mom think about that. Thankfully Kayla actually wanted me to go haha and her mom thought it was a great idea too. Am I dreaming? School can wait? Live in France? I have been completely mind blown by this sudden idea that was met with approval from everyone that I felt like had a say in the whole situation. The idea of living in Europe in general and in a place that I don't know the native language at all is scary but very exciting sounding the more and more I think about it.

The timing seems kind of right with school since I have received a four year degree though I still need 1 more year for what I really need. But hey my mom said it could wait. At the same time it would be a break from school and give me sometime to think about what I really want to use my degree and life in general after a rough couple semesters. So why not? I mean there are lots of reasons why not to go but I just don't know when I would ever have this kind of chance to actually live in Europe and currently don't have anything keeping me from doing it.

So what could I do in France? Well obviously the idea of riding in northern France and Belgium has been dream of mine but having those roads available everyday just makes me giddy and hyper. I obviously would have to find some form of a job for some income but even that challenge has me excited. Job and income just means funding for all my travels around Europe.

There are tons of hoops that I would have to jump through to make it work but it is definitely something that I am going to try and make happen! I will keep everyone updated on what comes of all of this and if I can make it work.

Commitment

I am starting this at 2:31am the day after my final was due. I think I have 6 hours asleep in the the 2 days and 10 in the last three. The computer monitor has been making me dizzy, upset stomach, blurry vision, or all of the above at the same time. There is also the possibility that I have been actually sick though.

Your probably thinking I have been drinking since turning in my final, but you wrong I worked on my final some more. Is it commitment? pride? afraid off embarrassment? Living up to expectations. I don't know probably a little of both.

It seems like the last 5-8 months have been a rocky road emotionally, mentally and physically. Yeah I keep telling people school is good. Ehh to be honest it hasn't been that good. The grades aren't bad but the product coming out of those classes has been lacking. My teachers, dean, and parents are both like the "wtf man." I am like "wtf idk." It is a degree that you really have to be all in for. Not good with the girl friend and not good for the riding. It is such an emotional progress with a product that will have a fine tooth comb ran through and then they might love it or literally rip it up. You have to take pride, care, and time to make sure you get everything in the program all while making it appealing to everyone. It taxing for sure and sometimes you get something good out of it and other times you want to jump off a cliff instead of starting all over. So I will hopefully receiving a diploma in Science of Architecture next week but the question of commitment really begins after that. Do I really want to be an Architect? If so 1 to more years of school. Going to have to talk with my parents about it. Starting to have doubts about it and currently lacking the commitment or drive to do it right.

I have been thinking about it constantly and haven't really told anyone. I am actually a person that tends to be pretty silent outside being with the crew and close friends. The people at work must think I am really weird. Bikes on my computer screens, 5 empty mtn dew cans (moved on to diet dew by the way! Shocking I know)and white kid listening to rap. I hold a lot in as shocking as it sounds for most of you, but I am kind of shy. I got ideas and think A LOT! Way more than people think and it isn't a good trait. I tend to be scared to let them out or commit to things. Not speaking has usually resulted in more bad than good as of recently.

So the goal is to speak up more, take action, and actually put to use what is in my head.

This might result in more blog post, but that might actually require commitment.

Trying to get rid of some things....

Some of you know that I am trying to get a new frame, but I must get rid of some things before that to happens. Here is what I got laying around in the garage and is up for grabs.

Pivot Mach 4 Med black
Lemond Poprad frame, fork and headset 57cm white and red
Fox RLC Fit 100mm tapered front fork with 15mm through axle for 26" wheels
175mm Race Face Crank Polished crank arms and rings
Thompson seat post 30.9
2 sets of XTR v-brakes
set of chris kings mtb hubs for rim brakes. Black
Set of Bontrager rxl mtb hubs. Centerlock
2 XO direct mount front derailleurs
1 kyserium sl front wheel
ec90 27.2 road seatpost
Ritchey Road Crankset
2 8 speed xtr rear derailleurs
1 9 speed XO rear derailleurs

If anyone is interested in anything message me and I will get in contact with you.

Change

With Kayla gone, school, work and no real me time for myself, I have been doing a lot more thinking about how stuff has changed in the last 3-4 years.

Three to Four years ago was maybe the peak of the BC days. We couldn't go a day with out someone picking on someone on bikeposssee. It would lead to a chain of emails and heated group rides that were epic. The rides consisted of more than four people and we all were racing a fair amount. Those were the days of no Norman or Danielle, "big" Jim, Mark had no children, Steve and Cliff weren't married, and the crew was tighter than it ever was. Now I can't say the same thing. We have become that crew that just has jerseys but still stirs shit up occasionally. Is it any ones fault? no but man stuff is different and it is weird. We don't even share our ride plans on the email anymore and I wouldn't consider some people BC anymore as sad as that sounds. I realize nothing stays the same and as a whole we have all kind of matured. Sounds weird saying that BC has matured, we are talking about 35+ year old people except for me and David. Some days I just wish we it was like old times but at the same time I am just as guilty of changing and being inconsistent as well.

Three to Four years ago I was just starting Architecture school at FAMU and had just met Kayla. I was a half ass student that did very little work, little loud, fit, cocky, and did nothing but think about riding. Today my life is consumed with architecture school work that has priority over everything. I am not thinking about my next ride or the next big purchase, I am not fit, not near as raw with my blogs and friends my age are starting to get married. There is one thing has stayed the same and that is that Kayla I are still together and I couldn't be happier that were are. As a whole I am starting to think more about the future and not living day to day. For example I have never saved or worked harder to get money for something other than bike stuff till Kayla was awarded an internship in NYC. I could probably tell you 50 different options that I could use the money to improve on my bike but all I really want to do is go to NYC, see Kayla, and experience something new.

With all of these changes the comfort zone/ hard headedness has kind of gone out the window. My rides are different and the people they are with are different, other than a few. My thoughts of where I will live or what I will do in a year or so are completely different than what I thought they would be. I always thought that I would live in Tallahassee and grow old here. Now I am almost sure that I won't be and could live somewhere new as early as the end of next springs school semester. The more I think about it the more I come to be ok with it and I get a little excited.

So what now? More homework unfortunately and more change it sounds like. That is ok though, I got to get over it and keep on moving. I will try to post more and I am guessing my content will start being a little different. I am sure the main focus will be cycling with an occasional rant, but more life lessons it sounds like.

cyclocross fail!

Reflection on this Last Weekends Race

I have said I was going to make a come back for years now but I have been sporadic cause of school and just plain growing up. I finally feel like I can say that I finally made it back and on the way to where I want to be. I don't know if it is that I grew up, got smarter, got my priorities together, or if I am just re-energized. It is probably a combination of everything and it finally came together this last weekend.

The race weekend couldn't have been any better really. I had an awesome, fun and muddy pre ride with Carl. It was a pleasant surprise to get text from and get to ride with him since he doesn't live here anymore. I just wish I could have taken a picture of Carl in my riding clothes and on my bike. That way I could have used it as black mail. The rest of that day was filled with cleaning mud off the bike, watching football and eating my normal spaghetti dinner before a race. Race morning seemed to come quick and I had so many questions/nerves floating around my head. All I wanted was the race to start, the thoughts in my head to go away and see what all the riding recently would result in.

The gun went off and all 14 SS racers went spinning off like idiots. To my surprise the course was practically dry. The roots weren't wet amazingly even though we recieved over 2 inches of rain the day before. Knowing that roots were dry allowed me to relax  and focus on being calm and riding like I knew I could. First lap was spent with Berg and Jimmy Toural. The pace was set by Berg and was very steady. I felt good but was waiting for that first attack. That first attack came from Jimmy Toural after Berg pulled out of the lead. Jimmy picked the pace up just before entering Lob Lolly and spreading the now four of us out. I jumped on to his wheel and followed him into the single track. I take a alternate route and took the lead. I had a minor gap so I punched it all the way to the water fountain. By then it was just Jimmy and myself. I would continue to keep the pace high and lead going into the 3rd and final lap. All I am thinking is how nice it would be to finally win the damn SS race at tom brown but at the same time thinking I don't want to be the bridesmaid again. Coming into the flat part by Kudzilla I bobbled a little after trying to separate myself from Jimmy. Of course Jimmy took advantage of my mistake and slipped in front of me. He got a 10 second lead and I never could make it up. We were stayed exacly the same distance all the way to the finish.

Though I ended up 2nd again I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. I had felt good, had real good lap times and felt like I could have done another lap. I am excited to ride and I can't wait to race again. School is still the priority but will be making time for riding as well. I got some other races in mind before it gets cold. I am thinking I might go to  Haile's trails, Felasco, and Santos for some more state races and might give expert a shot if I can keep my riding consistent and put the time in that is necessary. I am also considering doing the state road race in Orlando. Course sounds like it would be good for me since its rolling and more of a survival style race and not one for sitting around and waiting for a sprint. I am for sure doing spaghetti off road and at least the local cx race but thinking I might do some more cx races. I have some long term goals too, but I am going to keep focusing on the next couple races and try to keep the good form up and mix it up with a mixture of races and rides.

Remember when...

Remember when we rode on the job site in Macon? Well this video reminded me of that epic moment in BC history but this dude has mad skill!